Nowt as queer as folk (as is said, not just in Yorkshire)

Why are people so strange? (So peculiar and odd?)

Is it a coincidence that the word, "STRANGER" is almost identical to "strange"? Have you ever been treated like a stranger, when not (a stranger)?

The following is an outline of a public event that my wife and I attended yesterday - I won't name the event or location as it's irrelevant to this post which is about human beings and how they interact and why (should we ever establish why) they do the things they do that are so very distasteful.

Setting - let's just say that it was a literary event lasting a couple of hours (but we left a little before its scheduled finish).

People - event organised by a minor author with guest speakers that should have been 4 (including the organiser and 3 female authors of varying status/profile). One was absent, so three spoke briefly about themselves and then read out a chapter of one of their publications (typically from a book that they had written).

I half-predicted who might attend (turn up) and I got it fairly right. I used to attend a couple of writers' groups based in a large town adjacent to The Lincolnshire Wolds (he says, wondering slightly why he is being a little mysterious and elusive ...). The leaders (2) and their respective partners (2 - of course) were there. The leader of one group (the organiser of the event) whom I felt I had had a good straightforward relationship with, acted in, what I would say was an entirely normal way and indeed the second she spotted me arrive, she greeted me quite warmly, I felt, and we introduced our respective 'other halves'. - So no issues there ... We sat nearby the partner of the organiser and he was as one might hope for, chatty, open and warm (although I noticed that he 'disappeared' about halfway through - maybe to the venue's main bar?). - I wondered if it may, in any way, reflect his take on some of the attendees (which included the leader and partner of a 'competitive' local writers' group of whom I will write further in a moment).

Nearby where I and my wife were seated (towards the rear) were two ladies (woman and wife) of whom I knew, one being pretty much a regular at one of the writers' groups (that was uninvolved in this event's organisation). They too spoke quite easily and pleasantly and openly. Also, as I walked in, another of that group's attendees spotted me, said "hello" (reminded me of her name, which, embarrassingly, I had forgotten, as I had not attended that group for many months and never would I be returning, as I think all knew).

So here's the point:

In walks four people (rather later than virtually all others and a little after the event was due to start, (although it hadn't started). They are - the leader of other writers' group, a tall man aged about 65 with long, over-the-ears tightly-curled, if not 'permed', rather dishevelled hair, his partner (a woman) aged about 60, looking rather Civil Servant-like and serious-faced, followed by a group attendee (and I am certain, good social friend of the aforementioned couple) and, finally her rather 'neutral', amiable, easy-going (possibly long-suffering, I rather thought, whilst trying not to sound 'bitchy') other half. All four took in the room's contents, i.e. naturally taking in the human content rather more than the room's inanimate objects, I would assume. All four 'clocked' me and immediately (I mean in a flash - a nanosecond) turned away before I could even get a communication towards my vocal cords (should I be so inclined) to mouth the words "hello" or "hi" or maybe even wave hello. They either looked straight ahead or at the opposite wall or to the presentation area - anywhere but at me (or my wife). They acknowledged many others and spoke to a few as they grabbed seats as far away from me as possible, right at the front.

My wife commented afterwards how "gay" the man (the group leader) looked as he walked in, apparently, as she described, with his pelvic area forced a little forward of the rest of his body. He lived permanently with a woman, had children (I believe with another) and I had never had similar thoughts to my wife's observations and I had not seen his posture as she apparently did. - But her comments were thought-provoking certainly.

So, in case you didn't pick up on my account - I was being very very obviously shunned by at least the group leader, his partner and certainly their female friend. Regarding the female friend - she has a very unusual name - I won't share it - but if you heard it you may, like me, misunderstand the name and possibly misspell it too. I remember months earlier asking her about her name, explaining to her that I thought that it was different from what she subsequently told me it was - and I recall her utter disdain and her very dismissive body language which said to me "oh you wouldn't know would you ..." (indicating that she had me down as a 'nincompoop' and something of a lesser being. - This attitude purveyed through all three of these people I felt during my many months of attending that group and I tolerated it because I felt that I could get something out of the attendance there, rather despite of them. I didn't get much though - except maybe a lesson in tolerance of misplaced self-worth expressed by the organisers.

Not once during the one and a half hours did any of these three exchange so much as a fleeting glance in my direction, let alone any words of warmth or acknowledgemen (you have to remember that the couple that led the group had been guests in my house). I was being studiously and conspiratorially 'sent to Coventry' (as the saying goes).

For me, I noted all this odd, strange and stranger (in, of course, more than one sense) experience but even though somewhat saddened I was determined not to reveal any annoyance (as I rather think that they would have lapped that up). Instead I engaged in chatting to that majority around me that were 'normal', pleasant and amiable.

So the point of this post is to highlight a couple of things:

1. Obviously that there's nowt as queer as folk or that there's maybe even more nowt as queer as folk.
2. The curiosity that some behaviour presents in the person on the receiving end of that attempted marginalisation (that'll be me).

May I take a moment more of your time (Little Imaginary Reader - LIR) ? You, as you may recall used to be referred to as LLR (Little Lonely Reader) but one regular blog visitor got upset, told me so, with a lot of expletives, and then left, never to be seen again (or maybe he will come back when he's cooled-off).  You can read more about that scenario by looking under the label "Apologies".

So here's my question:

What don't they like about me? - Or what did I do that offended? - Or where did I go wrong? - I'll never actually know, but I do, and have, speculated of course ...

In my opinion they think that they form the local "Intelligentsia"; The crème de la crème intellectually and culturally of the Lincolnshire Middle Class. Maybe they see me as not a local - an incomer (even though they are somewhat too). Maybe they see me as an upstart. Who knows really (and does it even matter)?

What does perturb me though (and I see myself as an empathiser, even a sympathiser - as a type of person) - what drives anyone to be like this? - It's not nice. Some  might even say that it was very cruel (only if it upset me). It bemuses me rather than upsets me.

In conclusion: - NOT NICE PEOPLE are they? Comments?

The picture above may be fitting. - A group of delicate fairies (- no, not that kind - sweet little fluttery things full of openness and innocence) attracted in by the light of the candle but, they, being 'set-up' to burn and shrivel and die - an agonising death by the nasty people that lured them in for their own malicious, surreptitious benefit or dubious gratification - rather as I was when I joined a writers' group (that writers' group), attracted by what I may have thought was 'enlightenment'. I hope that you find that picture as thought provoking as I do ...