Do you have any opinions about America or Americans - good, bad or indifferent?
What d'you think about American-style marketing and procedures/methods on all sorts of things from marketing to customer service to style etc.?
Well my little lonely reader - would you imagine that I have views? Good? I mean d'you imagine that my views are positive - as they really should be after a partial career in tourism? ...
... I worked for many years, frankly, largely earning my living from Americans (indirectly and occasionally directly too). I was a professional tour guide - known as a BLUE BADGE GUIDE (BBG), based in London. The following statement is taken from the Wiki website about BBGs:
"They study for up to two years at university level, taking a comprehensive series of written and practical exams which qualify them to become Blue Badge Tourist Guides".
So as you might guess, a lot went into the many years that I was guiding in London - a lot of study and I have to say it was the most enjoyable job ever and I only left it for two reasons:
1) The first Gulf War in around 1991 resulted in almost no Americans travelling outside of the USA for a considerable time (for fear of terrorism), thus we had few clients.
2) I foolishly ventured into business as a tour operator with my former boss, not realising that this may upset a few people (who then made sure that our joint venture failed - mainly as a result of theft - not in the conventional sense - but the repeated theft of our brochures - no brochures = no clients - and in those days virtually no Internet - which would not have got stolen so easily; pity). It cost me a lot more than money which at this point I won't go into.
OK - so let's get on with it!
What prompted this post then?
It was a comment from a regular commentator here on the blog - the lovely "Alan" whose comments I always look forward to getting, partly because they are always intelligent and he always offers great ideas ... well maybe not ... always.
His latest idea actually was genuinely good and I am not just saying that for diplomatic reasons as he reads my blog and he will see these words shortly - the principle was good but it triggered a pet hate in me.
"Oh really - so what's your pet hate then Tim?" - Said my little lonely reader (LLR) ...
This is what Alan said (he was trying to assist me, as ever, and ease me back into writing ... which ain't a bad idea as this is supposed to be a blog about that very subject - MY WRITING!).
Quote:
AlanWednesday, September 26, 2018 8:33:00 am
Seriously tempted to start a blog Tim, but who would read it?
Have you tried mind mapping your plot/novel? Something you can use the old pen and paper for and that you can pick up during a coffee etc and add to randomly. I was trained in this by Tony Buzan himself way back but a good start point is https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Mind-Map.
Have you tried mind mapping your plot/novel? Something you can use the old pen and paper for and that you can pick up during a coffee etc and add to randomly. I was trained in this by Tony Buzan himself way back but a good start point is https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Mind-Map.
Unquote.
So, LLR, have you or are you, going to visit that website that Alan kindly offered me? I did. As soon as I saw the letter Zed (or Zee maybe I should say) in the word organizing, with its zed and the word, colour, spelt color, I was on guard, as it were. I suppose I was prejudiced as I knew all this mind-mapping stuff was originated in The States. I do know of "Mind Mapping" and roughly what it means - and frankly I have no idea if it is American or British or where it originates from but certainly 'The Yanks' have 'marketed' it and that puts me right off.
Alan (and he is not at all alone in this by any means) obviously thinks that this idea is great and clearly has no qualms at all about it being promoted from the U.S. as a great idea - only it's not their idea of course - it's just that we here in Britain have other names (maybe our take on it) for it ...
... like "brainstorming"* - or spidergrams. To be fair and accurate here, having used Mr. Google a little, I see that spidergrams do technically differ from Mind Mapping a little.
* Now this interested me - my wife (a Brit and a retired career teacher) told me something almost shocking to me - that in British education the word brainstorming was very pointedly dropped from educator's vocabulary of 'buzz words' because it would offend epileptics. Talk about politically correct!
So let's change tack a bit and venture into what I see (that's the "opinionated me" - Tim) as other areas of American marketing etc. that 'bug' me (oh dear just used an American term - ouch).
The list is endless but Ill try to restrict the length as I may have lost my LLR already ...
List of irritations (and these go way outside marketing I am embarrassed to say - so do forgive me):
- Starting a sentence with the word "So" unnecessarily.
- Giving degrees of uniqueness (not just Yanks doing this - we do too) - e.g. "oh I am very unique."
- Trump's "the highest form of special" as an example of American-speak. (A long list of course for him!)
- Waiting staff checking if your meal is OK (assuming that this is going to be greatly appreciated and will impress the customer when, for me, it irritates the hell out of me, especially as in some restaurants, it is done several times - and so obviously designed so that when the Trip Adviser negative review arrives, the criticised venue can say - "oh but the customer said everything was OK" - yes of course they did - they were sick to death of your company and wanted to get you out of their space.
- "Have a good day." "Enjoy the rest of your evening." "Your call is important to us." (recorded message whilst hanging on for eternity). Oh I could list a hundred of them - but you get my gist.
- "Thank you for having me (on the show or Radio 4 or whatever)." Nobody gives a shit - you're there because somebody (a researcher) said that you might know something about the subject matter but no need to grovel to us - you'll get your paltry fee anyway.
- Friends or acquaintances flogging Amway products (usually that no one wanted or needed) at high cost and always pushing you to buy. The system used so-called multi-level marketing.
- Forever Living ... well personally I have an aloe vera ["hello Vera" I say daily to it] plant that if I have a cut or sore or whatever, I break a bit off, squeeze out the forever living juice onto the nasty bit, and Bob's your auntie.
- "Hiring" people instead of recruiting them.
- "Can I get a burger please?" - Yes of course you can - come around the counter - they're over there and take about five minutes to cook it and we'll still charge you the £1.50 as if we did it all and handed it to you just as if you had said "may I have a minced meat rissole between two dry baps please?"
- "How are you?" - Answer: "Good". Well d'you mean as in the good part of a Good Samaritan? - As good as God? - As in a decent person? - No you have become an American ...
- Oh thanks for that "heads up" - or as it used to be ... thanks for that tip (or insider knowledge blah blah blah). Yuk!
- Audibly going higher up the note scale as one finishes a sentence as if asking a question but doing it on all sentences.
Did I mention "Pyramid selling" - well I think I am right in saying that's another great American idea ... not.
Yes I loved my career working with Americans - and of course some were lovely people and I cherish the letters that I have from many of them saying ... (no not what an arsehole I was ... to use an Americanism).
I'll just round it up now.
Alan I do not want (please) instruction on how to write my novel or short story using American websites - but that may be because I know it all (I know - nobody likes a smart-arse - I think - to use another Americanism). Give me the credit Alan, please - I know that you are trying to be kind and helpful and I do REALLY appreciate it - so please, you are probably quite literally my LLR - don't go off on one. Tell me that you still love me unconditionally and that we can go out tonight to the steam salon like we normally do on a Wednesday. Yes LLR - that was in jest ... it's normally Thursdays.
To be fair (again) - I probably will use your idea of mind-mapping but I will try it nice and quietly on my own without the need for any American spellings or U.S. websites ...
If you had a blog I could comment on it and you could 'slag me off' too!
TV and U.S. films are to blame for all this ...
Footnote: I think a whole blog about "pet hates" would be a therapeutic thing - what d'you think Alan? Don't get me going on apostrophes!
